Books I Read in 2024
Today is 2024 Dec 31, the last day of 2024.
Here, I present the books I read this year and give some of my insights and after-read comments for each of them.
If you are looking for a book, I hope this helps.
It is the third book of the Harry Potter series.
In the past 3 years, I kept reading it at a speed of one book per year.
While its plot is indeed fascinating and captivating, I won’t give many comments on a fully fictional novel and just want to say:
If you feel bored and want to read something to only pass the time, then it deserves your attention.
《被讨厌的勇气》
这是一本很多人推荐的书，通过青年与哲人的对话，讲述阿德勒心理学。
其实早在高中时期，我就读过一遍，但是当时由于人生阅历的匮乏，和多年来中国式教育的浸润，我完全无法理解这本书的真谛，更无法接纳书中所给出的人生建议，只认为是鸡汤，是奶头乐，是阿Q精神。但今年我重读了一遍，可以说是字字珠玑，亦是对我的生活及幸福重建起了很大的启迪作用。
这本书的观点有很多，而最令我受益匪浅的，是其中的两点：课题分离与人生之舞。
课题分离
阿德勒认为，一切烦恼皆源自人际关系，而根源是无法进行课题分离。
比如，你穿的好看是你的课题，但别人不认为你好看是别人的课题，你不能干涉别人的课题。类似的，你有没有认真工作是你的课题，但老板有没有给你加薪是老板的课题，你不能干涉老板的课题。
我高中时读的时候，就是对这个表示困惑，因为，别人的课题会切实影响我的生活啊，我怎么能不干涉呢？而现在，我的观点是，之所以对方的课题会影响我的生活，是因为我们的发心是向外求，而非向内求。
比如，我们为什么要穿的好看？对这个问题往往有两种回答：一是，我们为了让别人觉得自己好看，这是向内求，因为背后是满足我们自己的需求。二是我们出于礼貌和尊重满足对方的观赏需求，这是向外求，因为目的是满足对方的需求。
看似是同一件事情，当前者没得到满足的时候，我们会特别沮丧和难过。而如果是后者没得到满足，那这种失落感会减轻很多，甚至几乎没有。同时，因为没有这种情绪的劫持，我们可以更好的跳脱出当前的局面，去客观的判断自己的行为，比如我们是不是穿搭不与主流审美相符合？又或者是这个人的审美比较独特？如果是，我们到底是选择主流审美还是自己的审美还是这个人的审美呢？
如此一来，便能以一种更现实主义的方式，达成自己的目标。
人生之舞
阿德勒认为， 人根本无法预测自己的人生轨迹 。这个论点当我回过头去看自己过去的24年，真是非常透彻，莫说24年，两年前的自己给自己规划的状态，和实际自己现在的生活状态已经是完全不同。
也就是说，一个人是否能够达成目标，与他当下所做的事情没有绝对的关联，只能增加或减少成功的概率，并且增加或减少的幅度比大多数人想象的低。
一旦接受了这个观点，就会有两种感觉同时袭来，一是恐慌感，二是摆脱感。
恐慌来自于，人对于不确定性是有本能性的害怕的。大多数人所求的，也不过就是确定性。在刘慈欣的科幻小说《三体》三体星人之所以要大动干戈对地球发动攻击，就是因为他们的母星处于极大的不确定性中，随时都可能覆灭。
所以，人所做的一切事情，基本都是在对抗这种不确定感。这种不确定感在很多时候，甚至比最坏的结果给人的情绪折磨还要大。譬如，对很多高考生来说，高考前那种压力和不确定性对人的折磨程度，超过了出成绩知道自己落榜的痛苦。
但神奇之处在于，一旦在心底彻底承认不确定性的存在，这种焦虑也就不复存在了。这相当于我们完全抛开了结果，只专注于过程，专注于当下，当下这个增加或减少概率的每一瞬。
好比对于一个高考生来说，如果每日忧心忡忡自己能考上什么样的学校，那也就无法真正静下心来学习。反而，如果他将这种不确定性放大，彻底接受“能考上什么学校，跟他的行为有关系，但不大。他能增加考上好学校的概率，但不能有决定性的控制”，他反而能降低这种情绪的折磨，有更平静的心态去享受学习的过程。
这便是人生之舞的意义。
将人生当成一场表演，我们追求的不是最终的落幕，而是舞好当下的每一个瞬间。
I had bought the printed version in Chinese of this book as early as 2016. However, in view of its poor translation, I didn’t understand and absorb its content very much.
After reading its original English version, I found that this book is profoundly effective in changing the way people think about willpower and is highly useful in improving one’s willpower.
The whole training program this book provides is divided into 10 parts, one for a week. It is designed to gradually and practically improve one’s willpower during the 10 weeks.
Here, I’m only naming a few of the most impressive and far-reaching points that work best for me:
Willpower is not about morality
In traditional culture, especially that of Chinese culture, people with poor willpower are simply written off as a reprehensibly lax and unworthy of interaction slob at all. However, this book pointed out that all humans are born to resist temptation and do harder things.
If one can not, it is not because he’s the wrong person, but because of his wrong state. Through systematic training, one can improve his willpower and is geared to better self-control.
Willpower has more to do with physical state than mental state
One of the topmost significant aspects provided by this book is the stress on physical state, including: food, sleep, and exercise.
A little bit ironically, eating healthy food and sleeping early themselves are things that need willpower and give you back more willpower in return in the long term.
Doesn’t such a mechanism of building willpower sound like that of exceeding compensation when building muscle?
Back in late 2019, when I was watching Positive Psychology with a view to alleviating my depression, an open course taught by Prof. Tal Ben Shahar at Harvard, this book was recommended by him, who is also the author of the book.
It is a wonderful and functional book that helps relieve you of the shackles of perfectionism. (Much as its name suggests the exact opposite)
Here, I only mention 2 gists that affected me the most.
How to accept aging
That afternoon, while I was sitting on the couch and watching TV, which was playing that Sun Wukong disturbed the netherworld(part of the TV series, Journey to the West), a sense of horror came to me.
I may die in the future the same as did the Sun WuKong and I don’t have the powerful enough force to save me from death. So what can I do to prevent this kind of inevitable fate?
From that moment on, every second spent would be considered as a loss of my life. Every new year, I feel so sad when others are all celebrating their new year.
But, in this book, I learned that as time passes, we not only gain age, but also wisdom.
Wisdom is not like knowledge.
Knowledge can be acquired through hard study, watching online courses or textbooks, but wisdom can only be acquired through the experience of life, whether it is good or bad, it is comfortable or suffering.
And everyone’s wisdom is unique.
The mantra when I face failure or fear of failure
Here, I quote directly from the book:
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory or defeat.
This excerpt is the most inspiring whenever I face failure or fear of failure.
The most common reason why people are shied away from what they should do and want to endeavor is the fear of being discussed after they fail. This excerpt, in a logical and rational way, reminds of who will be the real winners. Not those who discuss behind the scenes, but those who fail, but try their best.
《追问》
这本书是某省纪委，同时也是一名作家所写。是我某次发烧，躺在床上没事干两天多看完的，给我最深的印象，是那些贪腐的官员们在早年，都是兢兢业业的人民公仆。
有省劳动模范，有某个科技行业的卓越创新者，坚守自己的信念大半生，最终因为一次失足，而成千古恨。
读这本书的过程中，每一段所传递出的，莫不是人性的复杂与欲望的可怕。读完之后，更能提醒我，看待任何事物都要辩证，不能像小孩子一样，非黑即白。
<Marx: A Very Short Introduction>
As a Chinese, being taught about Marxism as early as I could remember, I had not known what Marxism really meant at all until I read this book.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to understand such a great man and his thoughts through only one booklet. If you are as interested in Marxism as I had been, I would highly recommend you to read this book as an introduction to Marx and his ideas, not in hopes of becoming an expert on that.